The King of Iron Losers
by CrispyBaconbits
Summary: Various small oneshots concerning the strange habits, quirks and pet peeves of our favourite Iron Fist competitors. A/N: Undying Resolve is on hiatus but is not forgotten! Wrote this for a nice change of pace in regards to what I usually write.


**A/N:** Hello everyone! So I've been playing TTT2 A LOT recently, and as such you can't help but notice some funny things once in a while. As such, I've been itching to write this for some time and finally gave in. R&R and let me know if you'd like more chapters. This will likely be updated faster than UR simply because it takes me longer to write that one and this story is just for fun. Undying Resolve is due for a new chapter soon though, in fact I'm working on the next chapter right now. I mainly wrote this to appease everyone until the next chapter of UR is done! Enjoy!

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**Kuma is uncomfortable with the fact that Craig Marduk is taller than he is.**

If there's one thing the bear prides himself on, it's his ability to tower over all the other fighters in the King of Iron Fist Tournament. Well, at least it _was _that, until this gigantic brute of a man showed up. Needless to say, Kuma was not used to having to look _up _at his opponent; at first he was afraid that his neck wouldn't bend that way. To make it even more annoying, Marduk seemed unbelievably proud of his achievement in being bigger than a bear, leaving Kuma infuriated and unfocused.

And the bear swears that was the _only _reason why he lost to him.

**Asuka Kazama wishes that her boobs were smaller.**

A strange wish to be sure, but then again Asuka is no ordinary girl next door. And you wouldn't believe how incredibly irritating it is to watch all of her male opponents' eyes drift towards the same area _during _the fight, which at first Asuka had began to take advantage of. (Any self-respecting well-endowed girl would do the same, let's be serious.) Still, the humor in the whole situation seemed to dwindle after around 3 or 4 matches of this, which is why Asuka was happy that her next match was against Ling Xiaoyu. Unfortunately, while the Osakan was expecting Xiao to simply not care about her _assets, _the young Chinese girl had instead regarded them with a look of intense jealousy.

And the resulting fury that followed left Asuka wishing she would have just been born a guy instead.

**Jun Kazama never smiles.**

The other fighters have noticed this more and more, as unlike most of them Jun doesn't derive any enjoyment out of pummeling her opponents. Due to the increasing level of curiosity concerning her apparent depression, Lei Wulong decides to host a bet on who can make Jun smile. The resulting competition brings about more excitement than the tournament itself:

- Bob wears his superhero costume when he faces her in a match.

- Kuma dances.

- Alisa participates in a match with her without a head the entire time.

- Kazuya cracks jokes about Jin (which really only amuses himself and angers her).

- Dr. Bosconovitch blows himself up all around her.

- Lee tries to flirt with her (earning him a trip to the hospital).

- King wears a cartoonish jaguar mask.

All of their efforts however are in vain, as Jun's lips remain unflinchingly straight edged and don't even show the slightest signs of tilting upwards. Everyone thinks it is hopeless until Lei himself faces her in a match.

And not only does his drunken stupor make her smile, she flat out laughs.

**Alisa Bosconovitch has developed a new habit that her partner can't stand. **

It was created shortly after the duo's fight with Bryan Fury. It seems Alisa didn't understand why Bryan found everything so funny all the time, so she simply assumed he was making the most out of his life. And, ironically desiring to appear more human, she took a page from her fellow cyborg's book. Lars remembered the first time they defeated someone after that fight, and he couldn't have been more horrified at the manic laughter that had escaped Alisa's lips afterwards.

"Uh...Alisa? Why are you laughing? What's so funny?"

"Well, I am not completely sure. But it does feel better to laugh after a victory, does it not?"

"Okay...but does it have to sound so crazy?"

Alisa smiled sweetly at her companion, "It does not strike me as any more abnormal than your hair, Lars."

The Swede never asked about any of her habits ever again.

**Paul Phoenix has never seen a Bruce Lee movie.**

A fact that he desperately tries to hide from his two best friends – Marshall and Forrest Law - for obvious reasons.

As a matter of fact, Paul hasn't really seen a lot of movies in general. He's never really considered himself a movie buff, especially when it comes to martial arts films. After all, he never did like watching _other people _fight.

So when Marshall and Forrest are engaged in a heated debate over whether Game of Death is a better movie than Enter the Dragon and turn to him to solve their argument, Paul reluctantly lets the truth slip out.

He's currently sandwiched between his two friends suffering through _both _movies as a result.

**King has recently discovered that at some point he's lost his ability to actually converse with people.**

The realization occurred at some point after the King of Iron Fist tournament 6. Between wrestling tournaments and helping out at various orphanages, King sometimes finds himself in need of a more reliable job.

As such, the day arrives when he stumbles across an office job of all things. Sure, it's sitting in a cubicle for 9 hours a day, but its good money. Needless to say, the job interview was rather interesting:

"Um, you are King, correct?"

"Grr."

"Aah! Why are you growling at me? This is a job interview!"

"Grr?"

"And I would recommend taking that mask off...this job requires you dress in a professional-"

"GRRRR!"

A week later the wrestler finds himself crammed in the tiny little square office. Sure, everyone runs away from him when he walks into the lunch room, but at least he's making mula.

And that's all that matters.

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Remember to review and let me know if you'd like me to continue this. Feedback is appreciated as always!


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